My Approach
Relational psychoanalytic therapy is a depth-oriented approach that explores how your relationships and experiences, both past and present, have shaped the way you understand yourself and relate to others. We pay attention not only to what is happening in your life, but also to recurring themes, emotions, conflicts, and ways of relating that may be outside of your awareness.
There is room for complexity in this kind of work. You may find yourself wanting two things that seem to contradict each other, having a reaction you do not fully understand, or repeating a pattern even when part of you wants something different. Rather than rushing to resolve these experiences, we can slow down and become curious about what they might reveal.
Relational psychoanalytic therapy also recognizes that therapy is a relationship of its own. What happens between us can help us understand how you experience closeness, vulnerability, conflict, trust, and being known. This gives us the opportunity not only to talk about your experiences, but to understand some of them as they unfold together.
What is relational psychodynamic therapy?
Our sessions are conversational and exploratory. I will listen closely, but I will not simply sit silently while you talk. You do not need to arrive knowing exactly what you want to discuss or having your thoughts neatly organized.
I may ask questions, offer an observation, make connections between experiences, or invite us to slow down around something that feels important. Sometimes we may find ourselves talking about something unexpected, noticing a feeling that is difficult to name, or returning to something that continues to carry emotional weight.
I am engaged and present with you, but I am unlikely to tell you exactly what you should do. Instead, we work together to understand what is happening beneath the surface so that you can develop a clearer sense of what you feel, need, and want.
What does this look like in a session?
One of the things that makes relational therapy different is that we do not only talk about your relationships and experiences outside of therapy. Over time, some of the ways you have learned to relate to others may naturally emerge between us too.
You might worry about disappointing me, find yourself agreeing when you actually disagree, wonder whether I am judging you, have difficulty asking for something, or even feel irritated or misunderstood by me. Rather than seeing these moments as something to avoid, we can become curious about them together.
This gives us an opportunity to understand familiar patterns while they are actually happening and, over time, experience something different. You may find yourself saying what you really think, expressing something you usually keep hidden, staying present when closeness feels uncomfortable, or allowing yourself to be known without first figuring out who you think I want you to be.
Why does our relationship matter?
The goal is not to become a different person or eliminate every difficult feeling. It is to have greater freedom in how you experience yourself, move through the world, and relate to others. As you understand yourself more deeply, patterns that once felt automatic can begin to feel more like choices.
Over time, you may find yourself better able to recognize and trust what you feel, tolerate complexity without needing an immediate answer, move through loss or change without losing touch with yourself, and approach relationships with greater freedom. You may also begin to question old assumptions about who you are, what you need, or who you are supposed to be.
The hope is not to become someone new, but to feel less constrained by patterns and expectations that no longer fit, and increasingly free to live in a way that feels like your own.
What are we working toward?
